Fauci Makes Trump Grouchy

TMP--  That little Fauci is really starting to piss me off. He contradicts everything I say.
             I say the Malaria drug will work and he says we don't know that because it only worked on                 one Italian guy named petridish.
DOC--  Fauci knows his stuff...the guy is really really smart.
TMP--  Not really....if he was really smart he would have invented Pizza. I think it's time to get
             him off the air... send him packing...maybe to Italy.
 DOC-- People will want to hear from him. He comforts them.
 TMP-- I comfort them. He scares them. Gives them every little fact, every little possibility. I think
             I'll say I want him to check onThe Pope. The Catholics will love that. My approval rating
             could go up 5 points.
DOC-- You could make things worse for yourself. I hear Bezos is buying out a network and he's
            going to get Fauci to talk about the virus from 6AM til midnight. Gonna call it, and this
            is just brilliant---CORONATION.
TMP-- WHAT!!! Tell me that's not true. Tell me it's just a rumor. I was just about to announce an end              to the quarantine. Get people outta the house living again. The Market needs that bad!!!
DOC-- Fauci thinks that will make things much worse---spread the virus even faster. So it seems
            you have a choice. Raise the Market numbers or raise the virus numbers.
TMP--  Holy crap. That's a tough one isn't it?
DOC-- Not really.

Trump Shouts, "Not My Fault!"

DOC-- Mr. President, your blood pressure is quite high.
TMP--  I'm pissed... that federal judge says I can't eliminate the Food Stamps Program.
DOC-- Well, eliminating food stamps could have some really bad consequences.
TMP--  Really...like what?
DOC--  700,000 people could starve.
TMP--  Numbers shnumbers...just tell me the bad consequences.
              I wonder how they taste.
DOC -- How what tastes?
TMP-- The food stamps, putz. They can't be as good as a Whopper. But a lot of people are eating                    them so they must be good.  I gotta taste them.
DOC-- Mr. President these are stamps...stamps!
TMP--  Jesus, did you really go to medical school... they're FOOD stamps...ever hear of food?
DOC-- They have zero nutritional value...zip, zilch, zero.
TMP--  Just like a Whopper. Hand me the phone.
Chef--  How can I help Mr President?
TMP-- Send me up 9 dozen food stamps...3 pork, 3 beef and 3 shrimp.
Chef-- Not sure I heard you, Mr President. Sounded like you said you want 9 dozen food stamps.
TMP-- You got it.... don't forget the ketchup and relish, and lots of hot sauce.
DOC-- Mr President, the 700,000 people getting food stamps don't eat them.
TMP-- That's why they look like scarecrows.... not my fault, right?
DOC-- Nothing is your fault.
TMP-- Hey...maybe I replace MAGA with Not My Fault. I can hear the chant... 15,000
           chanting Not Your Fault...holy shit I really love it. It's perfect for the bullshit blame
           they are throwing at me every day for that fuckin' virus. Picture me out there in front
           of the Trumpers.... I shout- THEY HAD NO VENTILATORS and the crowd shouts back-
           NOT YOUR FAULT.... I shout- THEY HAD NO MASKS and they shout back-
           NOT YOUR FAULT.... and I keep going through all the stuff the doctors and nurses didn't get
           and the crowd keeps shouting-- NOT YOUR FAULT, and finally I shout loud as hell--
          8 MILLION DEAD and they scream like wild banshees and just keep screaming . . .
          NOT YOUR FAULT....NOT YOUR FAULT. Can you imagine it??
DOC-- I really and truly wish I could, but, it's simply unimaginable.


         

Drawing Dogs (from 2016)

       

               










 

TRUMP GETS RESULTS OF VIRUS TEST FROM HIS DOCTOR

DOC-- Mr President your test results are back
TMP-- Putz, I never  took the test...we just told everyone I did
DOC -- Actually, you did take the test. Pence thought it was important. So we swabbed your nose and throat when you were asleep.
TMP -- Fucking traitor. He's done.
DOC -- Mr. President, the test came back positive.
TMP -- I think what you mean is, you're postive the test came back negative.
DOC -- No, the test was positive.
TMP -- Dr. Dope, listen to me. I'm never wrong. I'm TRUMP. Remember when you said I was the healthiest seventy-year-old on the planet?
DOC -- Yes, you threatened to send me to Guantanemo.
TMP -- Okay, we have to make a small change.
DOC -- It's too serious. I'm not going to lie.
TMP -- It's not a LIE. It's like a game.
DOC -- What??
TMP -- Positive is eight letters. And, so is Negative. So, it's like a word game.
You just take out P-O-S-I and swap in N-E-G-A. I didn't know Positive and Negative were both eight letters. Ivanka told me.
DOC -- You're asking a doctor to lie.
TMP -- I never ask. I'm TRUMP.
DOC -- So, I'm going to be telling the world your test was . . .
TMP -- BEAUTIFUL. It was a BEAUTIFUL test,  BEAUTIFUL results. Perfect.
DOC -- You could pass this on. You belong in quarantine. I'm standing here talking to you in a Hazmat suit. Thousands of people could be infected, all coming from you.
TMP -- Only two numbers matter. The Stock Market and my golf score. Tell them to set up a meeting with Pelosi this morning.
DOC -- You could give her the virus.
TMP -- Breaks my heart. 

Off to CMCA 2018 Biennial Competition

Red Haired Boy with Green Plastic Nose. 19 x 15 inches. Pastel plus plastic plus tape. $700

Depressed Man. 30 x 24 inches. Pastel on paper. $1300 framed.

Downtown Minneapolis Before Prince Died. 30 x 24 inches. Pastel on paper. $1300 framed.

It Was Just Too Painful to Keep Silent. 19 x 16 inches. Oilstick on wood. $700

Angels Suddenly Appear Out of Nowhere. 19 x 17 inches. Pastel on paper. $600

Prozac and Depression Go to War. 17 x 16 inches. Pastel on paper. $550

I Am Dog Man. 25 x 19 inches. Pastel on paper, collage. $750

Face of a Migraine Headache. 17 x 15 inches. Pastel on paper. $550

Escape From Depression for 2 Hours, 19 Minutes. 24 x 18 inches. Pastel on paper. $650

Life Running in Circles. 9 x 20 inches total. Oilstick on canvas. $700

2 Depressed Men

Excerpt from my novel in progress about depression, tentatively called "All the King's Men"

As I made my way deeper into The Noonday Demon, I came to a place where the learned Andrew Solomon and I had a slightly different perspective. It’s his belief that “the opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality.” It’s easy to see why he arrives at his conclusion when sitting up in bed is tantamount to climbing Everest. What’s lost to depression is gone forever. You don’t get to double down in hopes of regaining it. The loss of vitality, especially over a long period of time, frequently leads to the loss of hope. With the will to live right on its heels. This is especially true when major depression is Treatment Resistant and repels everything you throw at it in effort to slow it down, if not eviscerate it.   

For me, nothing was more depleting, defeating,  deadening and heartbreaking  than the loss of my Emotional Arc. That 180 degree span that runs from the mountaintops of joy to the dark dungeon of despair is forever eradicated and replaced with an arc that runs from 3 degrees to, if you’re truly lucky, 45.  Four seasons become One. They are not compressed into One, because that would suggest there are vestiges of all the seasons in lesser amounts.  Never again will you embrace  the soothing warmth of a Summer sun, the smile that seems to come as if by request, with a gentle Spring rain, or the stunning poetry found in the changing colors of Fall leaves. For you, one season lives on INSIDE your heart and mind. You won’t be needing skis, sled, boots or mittens as you live minute to minute enduring the killing cold and endless brutality of the one season that remains. The Siberian Winter that is now your life.