OBAMA TEAM SENDS IMPOSTER TO DEBATE

2 WEEKS BEFORE THE DEBATE, THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE TOOK PLACE  IN THE
OVAL OFFICE. THE PRESIDENT MEETS WITH HIS ADVISORS... PLOUFFE, JARRET AXELROD, MESSINA, GIBBS.

Obama: I asked for ideas so I don't have to go debate the alien... whatta we have?
Plouffe: I think we should send the girls... when Romney offers to bet them 50 thou,
              the election is OVAHH!.
Obama: My kids are busy with important stuff... they entered a cookie bake.
Gibbs: I called Bill Gates and asked if he could make a talking cardboard cutout?
Axrod: That's not bad... it'll come off at least as real as Romney. We can control your
             responses from off-stage. In fact Buffet wants to operate the controls.
Jarret:  I say we send Sharpton... they think all blacks look alike...they won't even notice.
Gibbs:  Sharpton wants 2 million to shave his moustache.
Mesna: Professor Eric Dyson is really fuckin' smart... scary smart.
Obama: I doubt he can drop 110 pounds in 2 weeks.
Gibbs:   Even if we waterboard him?
Plouffe: I'll call Rumsfeld... for 20 grand, he'll tell me.
Axrod:  Okay, before you jump on me, let me finish. We send GINGRICH.
             We get the first question... no matter what it is, Gingrich says, "Romney is
             incapable of telling the truth. The man is a psychopathic liar!
Gibbs:  Romney will say, You're not President Obama!!!
Axrod: Of course... and Gingrich says, see, THAT's what I'm talkin' about !!!!!!
Jarret:   If only Sammy Davis were still alive.
Obama: Oh shit...that would be awesome. 20 minutes of impressions followed by 20 minutes
              about the Rat Pack followed by Sammy sings Broadway. Are we sure he's dead?

AXELROD OPENS ENVELOPE AND POURS 50 PLUS POLICE PIX OF MEN
WHO MAKE THE HELLS ANGELS LOOK LIKE PAUL REUBENS.

Plouffe: Family picnic photos?
Mesna:  Who the hell are those guys?
Axrod:  They're savages incarcerated in prisons all over Europe.
Jarret:  What did they do?
Axrod: Who the fuck knows. Bain bought their companies and they all got fired.

OBAMA PICKS UP A PHOTO.
Obama: Whoa...this guy could be my brother... does he speak english?
Gibbs:  He graduated Stanford with Rachel Maddow.
Obama:  Send him in my place.
Mesna:  He's killed 60 people... he could kill 60 more!!!
Plouffe:  I like it... make sure McConnell and Cantor have front row seats.
Gibbs:   What's his incentive? 
Obama: Just show him the "47% video."
















 

WARREN TURNS BROWN BLACK AND BLUE

I watched the Brown-Warren debate last night, and came away feeling Brown was much too soft
on Granny Glasses. Any of you who know me are familiar with my Bronx background and know I've been in a handful of fights and seen my share of spilled blood... none of it mine. I ended fights pronto by squashing my opponent's carotid artery and watching pass him out. Alive, but not ready to party.
With that picture in mind, imagine how many times I flew out my chair when Brown had a chance to land a Lights Out Shot and chose to let Lady Prof down much too easy.
I mean, when he said, "I'm not one of your students, Professor, so let me talk"... I started screaming,
"VIC MORROW, VIC MORROW... BLACKBOARD JUNGLE the bitch."
Why the hell didn't he pull out his box-cutter, lay it against her throat, contort his face and whisper,
Teach... I'll bet you're gonna be hard to hear without your tongue. He does that and believe me, it's
Game, Set, Match! So what does he do? He blows off a few audience BOOS and responds to her.

That is NOT the way a REAL BULLY earns respect. This guy has been to war, and if he didn't learn Krav Maga, a place 2 minutes from the guy in Boston teaches this unique form of martial arts.
Sweep The Leg... Palm Strike...let's stop playing Ping Pong here. Come on, Brown,
you're a veteran and an officer in the National Guard and you're really gonna spend an hour
parrying endless verbal thrusts and accusations being hurled at you by this grandma straight out of
Little Red Riding Hood. Oh no! She just nailed you good. She called you out. You really are asking for money on your website saying, " ....and help me defeat the Obama agenda." You've repeated
the term INDEPENDENT 45 thousand times and you put that on your website... AND THEN 
you blew the chance to turn the tables by saying... I smell a hacker here... it's no coincidence that
Little Harriet Harvard here knows all these computer braniacs...oh yeah, I smell a hacker.
What's the deal? Oh I get it. Let her gain some ground and she has farther to fall when you pounce.
Wait!! Did you just say Scalia was your numero uno Supreme?  Gregory asked you to name ONE and you named four. When did this become Sesame Street? Before you go for a colonoscopy,
you better know the difference between ONE and FOUR. And stop with the Geronimo stuff.
He was a noble and great warrior AND people really liked Tonto. This is NOT going well.
To my eye, granny is kicking your ass. I think I'll vote for her. She's better than you. In every way.