Wednesday, March 14, 2012

PIT BULLS, MY WIFE AND MARK HARMON

I love dogs. No, I adore them.
In fact, I believe they are hands down or paws down, the best creatures on this
or any other planet.  There was a time I could name every breed in the world on sight. This
includes the Cane Corso, Turkish Akbash dog, Komondor, Shiba Inu and you get the point.
This has become more difficult of late because too many people apparently cannot live without proving they are to be envied, aka, beating the Joneses at their own game.
Okay I want a Portuguese Water Dog .... BUT I want it to have humps like a camel.
Hmm... not my choice, but No Problem.
"Come back in a year and I will give you first choice of a litter of perfect PortuguCams. Web feet,
Humps and all."

KUDOS to the TV show NCIS. 
In a recent show, the main character, Gibbs, played by Mark Harmon says,
People don't understand PIT BULLS.  They are very affectionate, very loyal and fairly easy to train.    

I SADLY did not know THIS (despite my vast knowledge of canines) until 5 years ago when I heard my vet say, "in 20 years I've never had a problem with a Pit. They are very sweet and gentle."
Well, that was news to me. I had been drinking the Not To Kool Aid for too long and did not learn enough about the this breed.  My knowledge multiplied tenfold when my amazing wife started doing volunteer work for the WARL.... Worcester Animal Rescue League. I'd say 75% of the dogs they had for adoption were Pit Mixes and Lori got to know them all.  And grew attached to every one.
Like all dogs, they need to be evaluated.... some dogs just need to be the only dog in a home.

My wife and I have rescued our last 5 dogs.  I wish more people would do this rather than bow to their idealized image and go out and spend big bucks on some hybrid or pedigree breed. Yes, this will offend some of my friends who have taken this road, but if they have an image problem, AND they really care enough, they can dig up Siggy Freud.
Just Keep This in Mind.  Needing a German nameplate on your car is not in the same universe, not
remotely as consequential as putting your image above rescuing the life of an animal who in too many
cases faces certain death... for no reason other than it was originally owned by someone with a brain
composed of equal parts canned asparagus, chicken jerky and mucilage, married to the compassion level of Attilla The Hun.
I have made donations to more than 30 shelters thruout the country and heard stories that made
me sick to my stomach and question the human race.

In the meantime, let me know if you hear of someone who can mate a Hippo and Rottweiler.
I may drive a KIA, but if I have the first Rottopotamus,  the Country Club elitists will overlook
my Jewishness and will open their arms to me... and their doors to my Rotto.






Sunday, March 4, 2012

ROMNEY CAN DO NO WRONG AND NEITHER CAN YOU.

If you watched the last CNN debate, you saw a Moment That Changed EVERYTHING.
John King asked a question and Mittwit Romney answered thusly:
"YOU get to ask the questions you want, and I GET to answer the questions I WANT."
Where the fuck was this guy when I was failing chemistry in college??
Okay....A STORAGE TANK HOLDS 440,000 GALLONS OF LIQUID.
THE TANK HAS 7 AREAS OF LEAKAGE, all 1/4 inch deep. the area widths have the FOLLOWING DIMENSIONS:
0.17CM 0.34CM 0.56CM 0.78CM 1.13 CM 1.67 CM 1.94CM...... IF the tank is now at
82.6% storage capacity, HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE BEFORE THE TANK IS COMPLETELY EMPTY?
How easy is that!! The correct answer is Bellingham Washington.
Some other correct answers are: Howdy Doody, a Shnauzer, Karl Rove, Macy's, A loin of pork.

Okay, let's do another one. WHAT are the fewest number of people and the fewest square miles
a community can have/be and STILL GET ASSIGNED A ZIPCODE?

You might want to think a little on this one... the answer might surprise you..
HMMM? I think I know it. It's Ringo Starr and...uh... Jarlsberg cheese, aged 90 days.
Damn I am smart. Let's look at some of your answers---
Tampons and a Mars Bar. That's right.
The 7 Dwarfs and George Costanza. That's right too.
Toasters and Organic Tofu. Also Right.
You gotta see the BIG picture here folks. Romney sees it.
It irks him and should irk (or vex if you like) everyone who is proud of this country,
that we have fallen behind just about every place in the world (except Moldova) in
Science, Math and the 6 dialects of Mexico. And only 2% of high school grads
could name the primary source for London Blue Topaz. That doesn't cut it.
But The Romster has solved the big problema in one swift brilliant move.
Fuck the question... YOU get to answer whatever you like AND you my friend are correct.

So before you vote next November, just... What? What did he say?
How could he not understand the question? Okay. He DID understand the question.
He DIDN'T understand his answer.
If you watched the last CNN debate, you saw a Moment That Changed EVERYTHING.
John King asked a question and Mittwit Romney answered thusly:
"YOU get to ask the questions you want, and I GET to answer the questions I WANT."
Where the fuck was this guy when I was failing chemistry in college??
Okay....A STORAGE TANK HOLDS 440,000 GALLONS OF LIQUID.
THE TANK HAS 7 AREAS OF LEAKAGE, all 1/4 inch deep. the area widths have the FOLLOWING DIMENSIONS:
0.17CM 0.34CM 0.56CM 0.78CM 1.13 CM 1.67 CM 1.94CM...... IF the tank is now at
82.6% storage capacity, HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE BEFORE THE TANK IS COMPLETELY EMPTY?
How easy is that!! The correct answer is Bellingham Washington.
Some other correct answers are: Howdy Doody, a Shnauzer, Karl Rove, Macy's, A loin of pork.

Okay, let's do another one. WHAT are the fewest number of people and the fewest square miles
a community can have/be and STILL GET ASSIGNED A ZIPCODE?

You might want to think a little on this one... the answer might surprise you..
HMMM? I think I know it. It's Ringo Starr and...uh... Jarlsberg cheese, aged 90 days.
Damn I am smart. Let's look at some of your answers---
Tampons and a Mars Bar. That's right.
The 7 Dwarfs and George Costanza. That's right too.
Toasters and Organic Tofu. Also Right.
You gotta see the BIG picture here folks. Romney sees it.
It irks him and should irk (or vex if you like) everyone who is proud of this country,
that we have fallen behind just about every place in the world (except Moldova) in
Science, Math and the 6 dialects of Mexico. And only 2% of high school grads
could name the primary source for London Blue Topaz. That doesn't cut it.
But The Romster has solved the big problema in one swift brilliant move.
Fuck the question... YOU get to answer whatever you like AND you my friend are correct.

So before you vote next November, just... What? What did he say?
How could he not understand the question? Okay. He DID understand the question.
He DIDN'T understand his answer.